The Transition to Motherhood
By Elyse Killoran The following experiences are almost universal – yet they catch many of us off guard. If you have been judging yourself as a success or a failure at this mommy stuff based on what you had imagined motherhood would be like, read on… 1. As a new mother, you are likely to be exhausted and under stress, and to experience emotional highs and lows. The postpartum experience is one of peaks and valleys. As in any transition, there will be losses as well as gains. At times you may question your ability to mother well. Your relationships with friends and significant others will likely change. You may feel very isolated and you may miss some aspects of life before baby’s arrival. New mothers typically report experiencing the full range of emotions–from elation to joy, to pride and a sense of spiritual expansion, to jealousy, anger, guilt, and frustration. A sense of ambivalence during the first months of your baby’s life is not a sign that you are a poor or uncaring mother. On the contrary, it is a sign that you are deeply aware of the significance of this experience and that you are allowing your love for this child to change and deepen your sense of who you really are. 2. Your expectations of motherhood may not match your reality. The images that you might have had of motherhood, garnered from the media, had you believing that nearly every minute spent with your new bundle of joy would be peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling. Yet caring for a child is difficult, emotionally demanding, and frequently boring work. It is likely to come as a shock when you find that you were ill prepared for just how demanding your infant could be. You might find yourself feeling frustrated by the repetitive nature of the tasks (for as soon as you have diapered, clothed, and fed your baby, it is time to repeat the cycle). You might miss the social interaction that you enjoyed at the office or the intellectual stimulation of your job. No matter how much you love your child, it is perfectly normal to admit you are not necessarily enamored of the role of full-time at-home mom. 3. You may find may find yourself so enthralled with your little one that your love affair with the baby begins to eclipse your love affair with your husband. Many new mothers find that their needs to be touched and adored have been satisfied by the interaction that they have with their babies. Yet their husbands long for the intimacy they once enjoyed with their wives. It may seem as if finding time for adult conversation or romantic nights alone requires too much effort and energy, but unless a couple puts forth a concerted effort to keep the romance alive, the arrival of a baby can mark the end of passion and the beginning of something more akin to a “sibling/best-friend” relationship. Keep in mind that one of the greatest gifts you can give to your children is the model of a successful marriage–one in which both partners listen, respond to, and support one another. Although it might seem difficult to imagine now, it is really in your child’s best interest for you to set aside time without your child so that you can continue to nurture your marriage. 4. You may have to work to stay connected to other aspects of your “personhood.” It is so easy for a new mother to get swept away by this new role and to lose herself somewhat in the process. Therefore, it is essential that you make it a point to carve out some time for the activities that meant a lot to you prior to motherhood. By reserving a bit of time for enjoyable and rejuvenating activities, you will find it easier to share yourself with your child during the rest of the week. One suggestion is to reserve one evening a week where one of the parents can have time for him or herself. The other spouse is then responsible for all child and home care for a set amount of time, which provides each parent both with quality time with the child as well as some very vital personal time. 5. The best gift you can give to everyone around you (especially your children and your spouse) is the gift of caring for yourself. Not only is your own self-care a gift to yourself–it is an absolute necessity for the health and well-being of your loved ones. While most new mothers will stop at nothing to ensure that their children’s needs are met, these same women behave as if they can deny they own needs indefinitely. The reality of motherhood is that you can only share as much love and nurturing as you yourself are receiving. It is essential that all mothers ask for help and support on a regular basis in order to replenish themselves and to build up their reserves of energy and love. Once your needs are met you’ll have so much more to share with your family.
Things to Consider When Choosing Your Baby’s Name
Choosing the right name for your baby is an extremely serious and important endeavour. After all, it will stick to her throughout her life. So, there are certain things that you should consider when choosing your baby’s name: Before you think of and choose a name, make sure that it sounds good with your last name. Decide whether you want a traditional, popular or a unique name for your baby. Think of as many names as possible and brainstorm to create a list of names, from which you can choose upon the final name. Use a variety of sources and look through the dictionary (check for the meaning of the name in bilingual terms), surf on the internet, search in books and magazines, catalogues of baby names etc. Further, consult your family members and friends to suggest a name for your baby. Think about personal meaning when choosing a name for your child, to help install strength, confidence, value and a sense of pride in your child’s name. Opt for a creative, eye-catching and different name for your baby. This implies that the name you choose should neither be too common nor too unique. Make sure that the name you choose should be short, precise and easily pronounceable. Choose a name that you like when you say it out loud. Do not choose a name for your baby with unusual spelling and pronunciations that can create problems later on. Consider if your baby will end-up getting a nickname based on the name you choose.
Tips to Teach Life Skills to your Child
With growing children, the toughest part for the parents is when they are unable to understand when complicated situations arise or they do not know why a particular situation arose and how to handle it in the correct way. This happens due to lack of presence of basic life skills in them that creates a vacuum between them and their parents. It is here that the importance of imparting life skills to the children comes into picture. Thus, besides academic skills, life skills are equally important for the holistic development of your child. So, if you want to teach life skills to your child, simply adhere to the following tips: Start with basic life skills such as teach her to brush her teeth, dress-up herself, comb her hair, eat and drink on her own etc. Teach your child to remember her full name, address and phone number. Also, teach her how to make a phone call during an emergency situation. Help her build good & effective communication skills to enable her to express herself both verbally and non-verbally. Tell her to speak politely and encourage her to be a good listener as well. Teach your child to respect elders and always greet them properly. Help her to socialize and make new friends by allowing her to interact with other children in the neighbourhood and at school. Teach your child to be helpful by extending a helping hand to her friends at the time of need. Tell her to always give honest opinions and feedbacks to her friends. Inculcate sharing habits in your child so as to enhance the chances of bonding with others, especially children of her age. Teach her that honesty is the best policy. Always motivate and encourage her to speak the truth under all circumstances. Help your child to build thinking, problem solving and decision making skills through role-play and activity methods. Help her to prevent violent behaviour by telling her that such behaviour will be a threat to herself and others around her as well. Let her vent out her anger or frustration by giving her an acceptable physical outlet like punching a beanbag or writing reverse counting on a paper etc.
How to Make Storytelling Interesting for your Child
Start by picking a story of your child’s interest like: ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears’ or ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ etc. Introduce the story steadily and do not jump into the telling. Set the scene by saying something about the story. For example, before beginning the story of “Little Red Riding Hood,” you might ask her if they’ve ever been in the woods. Think about ways you can use to change the story in the middle to create something new and give it a twist so as to teach a new skill that aids your child’s development. Opt for flexible and creative ways to make storytelling interesting for your child. Practice the story by telling it aloud until you are comfortable with it. Modulate your voice as and when the story demands. Talk in high, low, squeaky, funny and other voices to grab your child’s attention. Use actions while narrating the story. Stress on telling and retelling the story. Add music, humour, magic and puppets to the story. Prepare props that will enhance the story. Involve your child in telling the story. Get your children involved in the book by asking questions. Let her help you tell the story. Great questions to ask are, “And then what did he say?” or “What do you think happened next? Play storytelling games with your child. Take-up a story that she knows well. As you retell the story, think of different ways to get the story across your child.
The Top 10 Ways to Jump-Start Your Toddler’s Education
Parents of the fast-growing and fast-learning toddlers need to pull-up their socks and brace themselves to give a jump-start to their toddler’s education. It is suggested that the parents should create a structured home learning environment for kids aged one to five years so as to help them manage their preschool days easily. Spend quality time with your child for both play as well as learning activities. Show your excitement for learning by getting actively involved in your child’s activities. Adopt learn-while play philosophy so as to make learning interesting and engaging for your toddler. Create a positive learning environment at home and help your toddler excel in different spheres of life by instilling a love of learning through several active play and learn methods. Read aloud and share stories with your child every day to teach her about communication, build listening, memory and vocabulary skills & stimulate her imagination. Use music to help your child memorize as music will leave a positive impact on her brain’s growth in the upcoming years. Ensure that you play all sorts of music for her to learn and have fun at the same time. Use educational CD’s of popular rhymes, alphabet and number songs to help your child learn the basic concepts in the most fun and interesting way.
The Top 10 Ways to Keep an Active Toddler Safe
Parents always say, “I just looked away for a minute” when serious accidents happen to their toddlers. Safety First! 1. Be watchful of balloons. Many parents do not realize that when a toddler swallows a balloon, it will probably be difficult to do the Heimlich maneuver to clear the child’s air passages. If your child is walking around trying to blow up a balloon, their very life could be in peril moments later. The same holds true for popped balloon pieces that children put in their mouths. 2. Monitor your toddler’s interaction with dogs closely. Many children have their faces permanently scarred each year by a dog that suddenly bites or claws the child. Toddlers can accidentally provoke even the most docile dogs by their unpredictable behavior. 3 Post the phone number for the poison control center by your upstairs and your downstairs phones. Toddlers are known to ingest cleaning products, medications, etc. 4. Keep your child out of your car unless accompanied by an adult. Children should never be permitted inside of the family car without vigilant supervision. At this age, children easily knock cars out of the park gear, which can lead to the child’s death, whether or not the car is running. 5. Watch your child at all times when they’re in the bathtub. Many parents leave the room when their child is in the bathtub to answer the phone or the door bell. Even a brief moment away from your child in the bathtub can mean brain damage or death. Even toddlers who know how to swim can slip, hit their head, and drown. 6. Delegate duties when you are tired. This is not a good age to ease up on the constant monitoring of your child’s safety. 7. Schedule the CPR class that you have been putting off since the pregnancy. One evening invested in this class could save your child’s life. 8. Permit your child to eat only when they are sitting down. Children who are allowed to walk around while eating can easily choke on their food. When the air passage is blocked you only have moments to clear the passage to prevent brain damage and death. 9. Find places where your child can roam freely and safely, such as the park. This freedom to roam sends a message from you to your child that they can express themselves and take initiative in life. In contrast, many children feel constrained by houses, sidewalks, car seats, high chairs, etc. 10. Never let your child walk into the street, even in a safe neighborhood. It is best for your toddler to have too much respect for the danger of being in the street than to have too little respect for how dangerous it is to be in the street.
The Frustrations and Rewards of Parenting Teenagers
Most parents – whether they admit it or not – react to the onset of their child’s teenage years with either trepidation or absolute dread. We look back to our own teenage years, and wonder how our parents lived through our fads, our raging hormones, our rebellion, and our attitudes. It’s almost as though, overnight, our parents went from knowing everything to knowing nothing, from understanding our hopes and dreams to being clueless about who we are and what we want out of life. Looking back, we know that parenting teenagers is no cakewalk, and can’t begin to imagine how we’ll survive the ordeal. If only there was a parent handbook or parent directory, teens would be so much easier to raise. Even a family newsletter with tips and hints would be welcomed and make us feel as though we’re not alone in our journey. There’s never a doubt that we want what’s best for our children, but what are we supposed to do when we lose our equanimity and get sucked into yet another argument about friends or clothes or the car? Is there any hope of ever having another enjoyable family vacation? How do we know when our teenager just has the blues and when he or she is clinically depressed? If it’s the latter, what are the skills involved in parenting troubled teens? Although we may approach our child’s teenage years with dread, the truth is that parenting teenagers can be rewarding. Here are four tips to get through those teenage years. 1. Acknowledge our power. Although our teens would be loath to admit it, we still wield an enormous amount of influence over them. We may not think they’re listening to us, but they are. During stressful times when we’re tempted to take the bait and lay down ultimatums or get into an argument, it’s important to remember that we’re still role models for our teens. The more often we take the high road, the more they’ll benefit. 2. Loosen the apron strings. It’s difficult to accept that the purpose of the teenage years is to separate and differentiate from parents. When our teenagers begin to develop their own personal tastes and opinions, and especially when they want to be treated “as adults,” it’s hard to find the right balance between maintaining control and allowing them to nurture their individuality. We have the right and the obligation to set rules and standards, but we can’t set them arbitrarily. If our teens demonstrate that they’re trustworthy, we must give them room to grow. 3. Be vigilant. It’s difficult to imagine that parenting teenagers is more difficult than parenting toddlers, but it’s true. We may have loosened the apron strings, but that doesn’t mean we should let go. All teenagers have secrets, and it’s our job to make sure that our teens’ secrets don’t have the potential to harm themselves or others. That doesn’t mean snooping (trust goes both ways), but it does mean staying involved in and aware of their activities and friends. 4. Listen with our ears and our hearts. Teenagers are notoriously uncommunicative, so listening is doubly important. This means listening both when they’re speaking and when they’re not. As the saying goes, silence can speak volumes, so it’s crucial to learn to interpret the different kinds of silence. We also need to learn to listen by asking. This doesn’t mean hounding our teens with questions, but asking their opinions and truly hearing what they have to say – without passing judgment or correcting them. All teens seek acceptance, and although most go through periods of feeling acceptance is lacking from their peers, we can fill in the gaps. There’s no doubt that parenting teenagers is incredibly challenging. And the reality is that we may not see the fruits of our efforts for several years. But when we devote the time and develop the skills to effectively parent our teens, we will experience the rewards, both now and in the future.
Express Your Joy with Baby Gifts
The best way to express your happiness and share fun & excitement on the arrival of the bundle of joy is to present baby gifts to the family. Amongst so many gifts of congratulations to share the joy of the new born baby, you might wish to gift something that is uniquely different yet useful for the baby. Here is a list of baby gift items you can opt for to express your joy to welcome the new born. To express your joy with baby gifts, you can: Present useful items meant for baby’s daily use such as bibs, tumblers, napkins, feeder bottles, rattlers, pacifiers, pillows, sheets etc. Give gifts with sentimental values attached to them like handmade pullovers, a pair of socks, frock (for a baby girl), baby suit (for a baby boy) etc. Purchase a baby bathtub along with items viz. mild baby soap, gentle baby shampoo, baby top to toe wash, baby powder etc. which are safe for baby use. Present unique personalised gifts such as a quilt with baby’s name embroidered on it, baby’s first day picture framed along with that of the parents etc. Give a variety of toys such as soft toys, colourful toys, musical toys (rattlers, chimes etc.) Purchase new-born size baby clothes, booties, mittens, etc. Buy a larger gift such as a baby cot, pram, stroller etc. Give baby gift hampers or vouchers that are good and viable options. You can opt for any of the aforesaid baby gift items to express your joy on the home-coming of the newly born baby.
Child care and development guide for 18 months old
Child care and development guide for 18 months old As the toddlers turn 1.5 years old, they tend to exhibit different behaviour altogether. Moreover, having a toddler brings new challenges to the parents in terms of understanding and analyzing the behavioural changes in the 18 months old child. So, to ease off these concerns, here is a guide for child care and development for the 18 months old toddlers: By now, the toddler may be walking; however, she still might need a helping hand to climb the stairs. So, help her out with the same. Make sure that the toddler’s play area is surrounded by only soft furnishings. So, make provisions for a safe play area for your 18 months old toddler. 1.5 years old toddlers can easily kick a ball. So, spare ample time to play with her and develop her motor skills. An 18 months old is able to combine two-four words and string to make a phrase. So, encourage her to do so as it will make it easier for her to express herself. When you sing aloud a nursery rhyme, she will attempt to follow the words along with you. She will chatter & mumble to herself, so enjoy listening to her. Studies say that parents are advised to use picture books to enrich a toddler’s vocabulary. More importantly, an 18 months old learns more through visual aids, bright & colourful pictures instead of written material or text. She can grab anything that is within the reach of her hands. This develops her gross motor skills. The 1.5 years old can feed herself, drink from a glass and uses a spoon as well. She understands simple directions and responds to them as well. She even selects and plays with a specific toy appropriately.
How can Kids have Fun without Toys
Kids are found busy doing something or the other every now and then. One of the best and cost-effective ways to keep them away from doing any mischief is to provide them with child-friendly items to keep the little hands and minds busy. Read on to know about the items you already have in the house, that will help kids have fun without toys. Playdough fun- Mix salt and flour in a plastic bowl. Add water and food colouring slowly until a smooth dough is formed. Knead the dough until the mixture is not sticky anymore and becomes elastic. Roll the dough out onto a flat surface evenly. Use cookie cutters to cut different shapes and have fun! Paper Bag Puppets- Lay a paper bag flat with the open end facing towards you and the flap showing upwards. Cut pictures from old newspapers or magazines and stick them on the folded paper. Use art supplies like crayons, pencil colours, paints etc. to make it more creative and attractive. Have fun while making paper bag puppets and stage a puppet show! Paper Balls- Hold the waste paper in your hand. Use one or both the hands to crush the paper together. Compact the paper even more by squeezing it together as hard as you can. Handover the paper ball to your child and let her do whatever she wants to do with the ball like play throw and catch, play bat-ball, drop the ball in the bucket etc. Make a Puzzle- Stick your child’s favourite picture like her favourite cartoon character, food item etc. on a cardboard and let it dry. Lay the picture upside down facing downwards. Use a safety scissors to cut the picture. Now, scramble the puzzle pieces and let your child enjoy putting the puzzle back together again.